Today we got an alarm system installed.
It got me thinking about how much you aren't protected from.
Things that can stab like a knife and leave no open wounds.
Things such as hatred, bitterness, and cruelty.
It's inescapable; you'll experience one of them at some time.
How can we protect our children or ourselves for that matter?
How do you take someone's pain away from them?

It all seems so impossible.

Things have gotten increasingly difficult around the house. We had a tremendous scare Monday night when Grammie went into the hospital with severe chest pains. They ran blood tests to make sure that she hadn't had a heart attack. Thankfully, everything checked out. We were much relieved to find out that her heart was completely healthy. They claimed that it was her kidneys that were the problem. They never ran tests to prove that medical opinion on both occasions. If they had, they would have seen that it wasn't her kidneys, but in fact her heart. Next week, Grammie will be taken to a better doctor in Medford that will hopefully be able to give us the answers we need.

Since the hospital visit, I have slept poorly, if at all. The stress from the last two weeks is coming to a head with everyone in the house. Mom has been ranting and raving about everything anyone does, with the exception of Gimpy who is suffering from her own health issues. Our family is torn in two different directions and it's frustrating to handle. With the recent passing of my cousin, everyone has felt loss. Even those who hardly knew him are unable to accept what happened. Not many people have been able to deal with both situations at the same time. In fact, the majority of the family have no idea what's happening up here. No one wants to take away from their mourning, especially us.

We pray for the best possible outcome, but it is getting harder to keep a positive attitude about things. So many awful things are happening at once. It's beginning to get overwhelming.

Zachary and I re-painted the room last Friday-Saturday. It came out a beautiful spring green and we're both immensely pleased with how it came out. Unfortunately we didn't predict the behavior of our lovely Daisy Mae very well. Since we were painting, everything was moved into the living room. That darling dog of ours got into the majority of our things. That included two of Zachary's hats, one of mine, a pair of shoes, and two slippers. She's also taken a liking to hangers, wire and plastic, but we aren't too worried about those. They're durable enough and she isn't swallowing the pieces from the plastic. We've finally got the shelves back up, so she'll be unable to chew any more of our valuables.

I've been having some mild problems with how Zachary's behavior has changed lately. He seems more agitated with just about everything. In addition to that, he can't seem to help himself from saying snide comments. It tends to be worse when he's around his male friends, but the problem still exists even after they leave. Today he actually commented on it himself, without provocation from me whatsoever, saying that he didn't want to become like ----. I know that tension is bound to happen since we spend so much time together, but I was expecting it in isolated cases. Unfortunately, that hasn't been what's happened. He isn't the only one that's to blame for it either. I haven't been the sweetest; in fact I've been pretty harsh in a lot of cases. We did get a break from each other for the day that he went to his dad's. It helped to calm down the situation a lot. Tonight has been the first really great one in the last few weeks. We haven't bickered or even taken random shots at each other, it's wonderful.

Mom's birthday is this upcoming Wednesday. I'm planning on having a little get-together for her and give her relaxation at the same time. It should turn out to be pretty interesting considering the temperaments of some attending. As far as I'm aware everyone has a mutual agreement to be decent to one another. I doubt there will be any re-kindling of friendships there, but that's quite alright. I know that mom will be pleased with what I have planned for her. She gets a day of doing nothing that she doesn't want to. I'm going to try and convince her to take a break from work, but that probably won't happen. It's all she really does anymore. If we could afford it, she'd be in California right now and that would be the present. Unfortunately this is one of our behind months, so it just can't happen. Perhaps for Christmas though.

Our family is still having their issues with one another. My uncle was nice to mom the last time they saw each other, which led everyone to believe his wife lied about numerous things. However, he can be a decent actor if the situation really calls for it. He's lied to my Grammie multiple times, so it's really anyone's guess what his motivations were. I don't think that things can ever be completely repaired because of the extent of damage he's done to my mom emotionally. She'll forgive him, naturally, that's what she always does. I don't think that I can be so forgiving. In fact I don't see a lot of our family members being that forgiving. He's just invested too much into his wife who is simply cold-hearted. Some day things may be at least civil and that's what I look forward to. (: